Monthly Archives: September 2009

I received feedback from the Fresno SciFi & Fantasy Writers on the beginning of Chimree Republic: The Cleansing.  Overall it was very positive and a huge relief.  There were ten readers with ten different viewpoints and ten ways of envisioning what I need to do.  Everyone writes and thinks differently so that is to be expected.  There were some patterns and I will address those issues and I know my story will be better for it.  Thank you FSFW readers!

One of the more minor issues (minor meaning easy to correct, not meaning forgivable) was my use of the word, ‘That.’  “He was the one that…”  I am often lazy in speech and it has now found its way into my writing.  In the past, I sometimes found myself tongue-tied and using ‘who’ when it should be ‘whom’ or vice versa.  To solve this, I started using ‘that’ in more places than appropriate.  No one ever correct ‘that’ like they would with the misuse of ‘who’ or ‘whom.’

I have now decided to clean up my speech in an attempt to clean up my writing.  I needed a little refresher on how to address groups of people but, beyond that, the rules are fairly easy.

If you are addressing a:

• person, use ‘who’ or ‘whom’
• thing, use ‘that’
• group associated with a logo (like a team or club), use ‘that’
• group associated with faces (like your friends or a mob), use ‘who’ or ‘whom’

In ‘who’ versus ‘whom,’ use:

• ‘who’ for the subject
• ‘whom’ for the object
• ‘who’ when you would use I, he, she, etc
• ‘whom’ when you would use me, him, her, etc

From what I have seen on other pages, some of the rules flex a little and some of it depends on how you were taught.  Follow the following references for more information, on Who, Whom, and That:

• Grammar Girl “Who versus That”
• Grammar Book “Who versus Which versus That”
• Grammar Book “Who versus Whom”
• Grammar Girl “Who versus Whom”
• e Learn English Language “Who versus Whom”

If you have any corrections or additions, I would love to hear them.  I always welcome advice that can make my writing better.

R. Garrett Wilson

A friend sent me this: RGarrettWilson.com

Too funny. Anyhow, a few things have changed on my site in the last three weeks. Give it another week or two and a whole lot more will be added.  Check out my real site at RGarrettWilson.com

I have two projects going right now and it is starting to stress me out a little.  Here’s the status update:

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Passages of Consequence: The Open Door is a current day alien invasion novel featuring subplots of love, loyalty, and intergalactic politics.  In this story there are doorways that connect worlds – doorways that open and close, that can be seen by some but not others, and that each carry consequences for entrance and more dire consequences for avoidance.  A door opened on earth and group of seven came through.  This story is about these seven and the one they were sent to assassinate. 

There are some similarities in plot, structure, or characters with the Host (book), Jumper (book), Stargate (movie and TV show), Sliders (TV show), and those crazy people flying around in wingsuits.

This novel has been hovering around 90 pages (or about 1/3 complete) since, I don’t know, forever ago.  In the last two weeks I have felt a renewed interest in the work – I believe that in part to be because of Toff and the other FSFW members.  This week I polished up the first ten pages and sent them off to be critiqued Central Coast Writers’ Conference.  If the reviewer’s remarks are positive, there may be excerpts up by mid-October.

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Chimree Republic: The Cleansing features a futurist civil war.  It’s nearing the turn of the 29th century when a scared, little sulteer boy crawled unnoticed down a sewer drain in Shurefleet to escape the Chimree, winged beasts with the bodies of lions and the heads of demons – goddesses to die for, literally.  No one knew until 16 years later, The Cleansing of the Southern Grid, the second massacre by the Chimree, that there was a living witness to the Rise of the Chimree.  No one knew until the little sulteer that ran became the one that stood defiant in the face of the Chimree horde. 

I have no idea what influenced me here and there is some pretty strange stuff in this novel.  There are some similarities with Pitch Black and Chronicles of Riddick (movies), Minority Report (movie), Ladyhawke (movie), and, well, you can see a little bit of The Wizard of Oz (movie) and Through the Looking Glass (book) too.  However, where you are going to see a lot of the truly interesting differences in their culture and ours is by looking at the doctoral projects of scientific researchers and the hypothetical reports of climate, population, and disease forecasters.

I have about 40 pages written and a pretty detailed outline of the story.  According to my place on the outline, I am about 1/10 to 1/15 through the storyline.  I just got the first 30 pages organized enough to share with the FSFW group and I will be hearing the good and the bad this upcoming Tuesday.  I doubt I will have anything up until I am further in the novel – things are just a little too in flux as I am discovering details that need to be trickled back into the early parts of the story.

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So there you have it, my current projects and where they stand.

The main reason that this novel, Passages of Consequence: The Open Door, isn’t already in draft form is because I am having a hard time with the POV/perspective.  I have never had as much positive feedback as I have on the beginning of this piece.  However, I have written out about a third of this novel and then find myself rewriting it – changing parts of it from third person to first person and back again. 

This novel has two fairly important characters that never meet; they are never even close to each other.  One of them is the target of the assassination and the other is a sympathetic hostage of the assassins.  I know that I want third person perspective around the target – every scene around him works better that way.  However, around the hostage I am finding myself drawn to first person perspective – it often works better that way, but not always.  In the scenes that it does work better, the effect is profoundly better than third person.

Realizing that there are not many books where the main characters never meet, I am sure this storyline can handle it.  What I am worried about is how I tell the story.  I am not familiar with many successful books that switch from first to third person prospective and back again.  Based on the little info that I have given here, what are your thoughts?  Feel free to use the poll, comment, or both.

I have been attending a writing group in the Turlock area for four months now. I love the group. We are so varied and write everything from poems to children’s stories to SciFi novels to harsh realities. The eclectic viewpoints of the group always keep me on my toes – it’s great. However, there are no two people that write the same genre – not so great. Because of that, it isn’t always possible to make those higher level comments on other people’s work. (by the way, we are trying to grow – if you are interested, let me know)

I am the SciFi novelist of the group so I decided to find an online SciFi group. Instead of finding an online group, I found a SciFi writers group just 90 miles away in Fresno. So I visited and it was fabulous. People that can express themselves a way similar to myself – wait, maybe that isn’t so fabulous.

Anyhow, I will be getting a reviewed piece back from someone in my Turlock group soon. When I get it, I will tweak it accordingly and then submit it to the Fresno SciFi group. After they rip it apart I will piece myself, I mean my work, back together again and put it up on the web. So, look for more additions to my web page before the end of the month.

Looking a little more to the future, I will probably have excerpts and introductory chapters for ‘Chimree Republic: The Cleansing’ and ‘Passages of Consequence: The Open Door’ before the end of the year. I have also been thinking about a short story that would be a prequel to Chimree that might make it to the web page one day.

R. Garrett Wilson

www.rgarrettwilson.com