Posts Tagged Character Description

I started this topic over a month ago and I never dreamed it would take so long to get back to it.

For this post, you can take what you like and apply it how you want, but I am thinking of side characters – one-time only characters and maybe some infrequent reoccurers (yes, I made that word up for this blog).  For these guys, I would recommend you steal liberally from your own experience, people you observe, and people you read about.  But don’t look at every behavior; these aren’t your main characters, look at the behaviors that will define a character in just a few words.

The July 7th week had a couple enlightening news stories… human stories: 

Sacramento Bee ran a story initially advertised as “Hot Tub Hero” and was formally titled “Neighbor in hot tub spots blaze, saves Elk Grove families.”  This story showed a side of humanity we can really get behind, be proud of.  This guy sees an explosion, tells someone to call 911, races to both houses to wake the sleeping residents, then takes a garden hose and battles with the fire so much that me loses the hair on his right arm.  Then he had some humble remarks, “Just being neighborly,” “It’s just fate that I was in that hot tub and happened to be looking in that direction,” and “You would’ve done the same thing if you’d seen a fire.” 

CNN ran a sad story about a woman who, two years ago, accidentally left her baby in a car, “Tragedy in the backseat: Hot-car deaths.”  The story was from her viewpoint, a viewpoint I don’t here often.  Beyond her own grief and guilt, she talked about how her family handled the situation and the charges which were filed against her.

The week of August 4th, there was another great human story:

The Daily News reported about a gunman’s girlfriend dealing with the aftermath: “Kristi Hannah, girlfriend of Omar Thornton, recalls gunman’s goodbye, racism concerns.”  This is an article that shows the dynamics of a relationship, while giving your glimpses of both the boyfriend and girlfriend.

Right now, there are enough articles about Shaquan Duley to make a fairly good character profile/sketch/outline/whatever you want to call it.  She killed two of her three children to be “free.”  From these stories, you can see her life three years ago, before those two children were born.  You can see her life change, and know about the lectures she was receiving.  Then, you read her own words about how and why she took her children’s lives.

In each of these stories, there is enough detail and dialogue to base a character.  Maybe not a main character, but a side character – an interesting, dynamic side character.

Now, if I were doing a crime novel with a PI or detective, I could make a scene where there was a mother who, intentionally or unintentionally, kills some of her children.  A humble bystander saves the last of the children from this event.  Plus, there is the reaction of the spouse afterwards.  You have a nice set of scenes for your detective to walk through, setting up his/her personality for the remainder of the novel.

Whenever possible, borrow from reality.

Originally, I wanted to put a lot more work into this post, but a sinus infection has robbed me of a week so there will be a second part to this post next week.  However, this cursed infection has given me material, real life material, which is what this post is supposed to be about, so here we go.

Every fiction author wants their story to have characters realistic enough to hold the reader.  For main characters, this is paramount; this is who your readers are sharing the adventure with.  To accomplish this, I recommend you steal liberally from your own experience.

I recently saw a doctor who seemed confident, smiled, shook my hand before washing his, sat on his rolling chair and listened to me describe all my symptoms, made eye contact as he asked me a series of questions about my symptoms even though I just covered all that.  These traits are boring – common.  However, he had two traits which I think would set off flags in people’s minds as to what type of doctor he is: he always said “I see” after every statement I said, and he didn’t describe anything about the medicines he prescribed me – he really was going to boot me out the door without explaining what I was supposed to be taking.  With just a few lines of dialogue and using these two traits alone, I can have a doctor who sparks interest with the reader.  With just a few tweaks in the dialogue, I can make him the anal doctor without time for his patients or the absent-minded doc who would like to go home to deal with some personal issue.

Right now, as stated earlier, I have a sinus infection (the reason for my doctor’s visit).  This is new ground for me as I have had many of the symptoms before, but not all at once and not this bad.  So, now in misery, I have material.  It isn’t just the pain I can describe (pressure, stuffy nose, sore throat, pressure, nose bleeds, chills, pressure) because that just gives the ailment, but the thoughts going along with my condition give personality.  On Sunday, I wanted to put my head in my wood vice and crank away, and yesterday, I would loved to have taken a drill to my left eyebrow and maybe also to the left side of my nose.  Someone who has had a sinus infection before is probably going to relate to my pain, but my reaction to the pain, my thoughts, tell something unique about me as a person: I know woodworking tools.  I never said I was a woodworker, but I hope most of you would think I am just from dreams of how to deal with the pressure.

So, in a fairly bad week, I have come up with some ideas for future character development.  I would encourage you, bad week or good, observe everything you can.  Don’t just look at others, but examine yourself as well.  Find what clicks; find what sticks.  Practice.  Get feedback.  Observe more.

Actions can show a character’s course through an event, dialogue can pass along information, and thoughts can fill in gaps, but finding the correct traits will give personality and history.  Whenever you get a chance, borrow from reality.

Lately, there has been a lot of discussion in my circle about speech.  Not just word choice, accents, or colloquial, but speech as a whole.

• This is too robotic
• No one talks like this
• He’s over-the-top cheesy
• I don’t like this accent
• I can’t see this word used here
• This phrase takes me out of the setting
• Where are the accents?
• It’s hard to write accents and it’s hard to read them
• A few colloquial words help a story
• Who says this?
• These new/strange words take me out of a story

Without dragging you through all the conversations and arguments I have had, and without pulling you (kicking and screaming) through my thought process (scary – don’t want to go there), I will give you my conclusions about speech use, and I open my comment section for opinions and (civilized) debate. 

Word choices, accents, colloquial words, pacing, contractions, and slang all give characters, and the narrator, a voice (yes, voice – I can’t think of a better term).  A properly chosen voice can put a character into a specific time and place while a poorly chosen voice can ruin a moment or a story.

Everyone writes with a specific voice, even if they don’t think they do:

• contraction usage (“We’re not going in there” is different than “We aren’t going in there”)
• spelling (“dialog” compared to “dialogue”)
• modified words (“I don’t want to go to…” as “I don’t wanna go to…” or “I don’t want ta’ go to…” or “I ain’t goin’ to…”)
• word choice (“One meter” versus “One yard” versus “One and a half cubits” versus “A walking stride”)
• slang (“Wicked” versus “The bomb” versus “Kickin’” versus “Cool” versus “Awesome” versus “Bomb Diggity”)
• expletives (won’t go there)

The list goes on.  To assume you don’t write in a voice, and therefore refuse to understand you are placing your characters in a specific time and place, is to deny your readers the full experience of the story being told.  You must change your characters voice if they are not from the same place or time as you or the realness of the character (and the story) goes away.

Now, if you are on board with me so far, I have to push the other way a little.  If you are intimately familiar with another voice than the one which is natural to you, then, by all means, write it out.  However, if you are not gifted that way, hold yourself back from going too far.  Using a voice you, and maybe your readers, are unfamiliar with is a matter of balance.  If you use too much slang and modify too many words, it may (will) do two things: be hard for the reader to read, and prove how much you don’t know.

When using alternate voices, you need to pick certain clues that can give the feel you want without distracting from the actual story.  For these clues, go to YouTube or Bing’s Video search, and find people who talk the way you want to have your characters talking.  Trying searching for someone explaining accents and slang in certain areas.  If possible, call the Chamber of Commerce or a University in the area of interest and just chat with someone.  Pay attention to what they are saying, how they are saying it, and which differences are important for giving the right feel. 

Once you have what you think you need, practice.  Try saying the lines aloud.  Try writing the lines and having friends and family read it.  Quiz people you are trying it on to see if it is too much or too little.  If you aren’t getting it right, go back to your sources and find different clues.  Experiment!

You don’t need to include everything, but giving a taste of an accent, a localized slang, or anything that puts the character (and the reader) into another time or place is well worth the effort of research and experimentation.  Putting the correct voice on a character is as important as the clothes they wear or the fears they hold – it is a part of who they are.

For more, read Guest Blogger: Ninja Cups and the Path to a Better World on P.D. Wright’s blog (by David Oliver) and Balance on C. Michael Fontes blog.

Other resources are:

“Using Slang and Accent When Writing Fictional Dialogue” by Todd Eastman

“How to Write Dialogue for Fictional Characters With a British Accent” bye Valerie David

“Do You Have an Accent?” on Readable Blog

People commonly accept that there are five senses: smell, taste, touch, sound, and sight.  We know this, and yet many of us (me included) choose to ignore many, if not most, of the senses in our descriptions.  We prevent our readers from fully experiencing our characters when we do this.  Other less known senses include: balance, acceleration, direction, and possibly (not really a sense) perception.  Those can be important as well.  I’m going to try to describe something without ever telling you what it is.

I focused the camera on the bright pink scar hidden behind black hair, which almost distracted me from the black eyes that were focused directly at me.

Okay, we have a start.  Don’t know if it is male or female; human or animal; alien, fantasy, or earthly; old, young, or somewhere between; or aggressive or passive.  However, we do know that we have its attention and it was recently injured.

A guttural growl exploded from its mouth.  It dropped to all fours and charged much faster than I could hope to run.  I stood my ground, hoping to call its bluff.

Now we have a sound, a growl.  We also know that it can stand upright and move on all fours, which is another visual.  We also judged acceleration and direction.

Its head rocked back and forth and plums of dust rose whenever it exhaled.  I wanted to run.  It smashed its paw into the ground, throwing clumps of earth and rock and causing vibrations under my feet.  My knees nearly gave out.

Now we know it is an animal.  Many of you might be able to guess at the kind.  It is large enough to make a person tremble, can cause the earth to vibrate, and it takes deep, intimidating breaths.

Two cubs walked into the clearing, whining.  It reared up and growled in my direction.  Pieces of spit and undigested food splattered over my face.  The last thing I remember before I fainted was the overwhelming smell of rotten fish.

Okay, if you pictured a bear, without me actually telling you, then I described it well – although I did cheat by using the cubs.  I used everything except taste and balance.  I could have used taste, but I didn’t want to go there.  Now we can go back and replace the word ‘it’ with ‘bear,’ ‘her,’ and ‘animal.’

I focused the camera on the bright pink scar hidden behind black hair, which almost distracted me from the black eyes that were focused directly at me.  A guttural growl exploded from the bear’s mouth.  It dropped to all fours and charged much faster than I could hope to run.  I stood my ground, hoping to call her bluff.  The animal’s head rocked back and forth and plums of dust rose whenever it exhaled.  I wanted to run.  The bear smashed its paw into the ground, throwing clumps of earth and rock and causing vibrations under my feet.  My knees nearly gave out.  Two cubs walked into the clearing, whining.  She reared up and growled in my direction.  Pieces of spit and undigested food splattered over my face.  The last thing I remember before I fainted was the overwhelming smell of rotten fish.

I chose an animal for this example, but the concept applies to aliens, fantasy creatures, people, and even to animate objects.  Try it yourself, using as many senses as you can: smell, taste, touch, sound, sight, balance, acceleration, direction, and perception.

My first character sketch was not designed for developing a character, but for remembering the characteristics I had for an existing character.  It worked/works great for secondary characters that don’t change much and tracking infrequent characters.  I have made a couple of tweaks and hopefully it is better.

I have also created a new character outline to be used in conjunction with event pages.   This outline is for creating a well rounded character and, should you choose, tracking that character’s development through the events of the story. 

There is a marker box before each field on the character outline meant to be used with an additional page, Influential Events.  You put a number in the marker field to specify an event that modifies or changes the character, then add an Influential Events page and put the same number by an event.  You then describe what happened and how it affected the character. 

If used properly, you will be able to see what the character looks like at the beginning of the story as well as track the changes that happen to the character throughout the story.  You can also use the Influential Events page to set up events which occurred before the story that have shaped your character.

For example:

Ralph starts out atheistic.  That is what you put in the “Religion” field.  However, part of this story has to do with Ralph meeting God, so there will be an event that changes this attribute.  Put a number in the event marker box next to “Religion” on the outline.  For my example, this will be the third event, so I will put 3.  Then, on the Influential Events page, I will write down the “Character” – Ralph, and “Event #” -  3.  I will then fill in the fields except possibly “Chapter/Page” – this I can only fill in after I have written the scene.   

That’s it; you can look at the outline and clearly see the characters position at the beginning of a story, what will change (if there is a number in the box), and see how/when that change occurs by looking at the influential events page.  Not only can you track how a character changes, but you can also plot the changes and use this tool in your storyline planning.

Here’s what available now:

• I have added mannerisms, political leanings, and the point of introduction to the one-page Character Sketch.
• The full Character Outline includes everything from the sketch plus: aliases, nicknames, fears, abuses, indulgences, passions, temperament, background, event marker for each field, and the fatal flaw.
• Beyond the character sketch and outline, I have some additional pages that can be used for Address History and Employment History as well as Events that have positively or negatively influenced the character.

Writing challenge:

• Describe all of your minor characters using the Character Sketch
• Develop you main characters using the Character Outline and Influential Events page

Why do writers write? Because it isn’t there.   – Thomas Berger

I have scoured the internet (okay, I did Google and Bing searches looking at the top 20 hits) to find something about creating a sense of history based on a character’s initial description and setting.  I found nothing, and thus, I am writing.

My theory: if there is only physical character description without setting, the character’s history has to be explained.  However, with proper consideration of the setting for introducing a character, history will take care of itself.

For most people, first impressions are very strong.  Part of that impression is of the person themselves, but part of it is the setting.  We associate our stereotypes with settings.  Seeing an attractive, drunken woman at a bar might be enticing for some men; however, seeing an attractive, drunken woman in cuffs near the scene of a fatal accident gives a totally different impression.  Why?  It is because of our experiences, because of our prejudices.  We, the readers, add to what we read.  The setting gives us all we need to let our minds go wild, especially if it is a first impression of a lesser character.

Let’s play with an example: if a main character, Andre, is described as mulatto, well groomed, athletic build, and wearing a black suit, you can picture him without knowing anything about him.  Further, add that he is crying while holding pink pom-poms to his chest.  Now you may think he is strange, you may want to know more.  However, that is all the physical description you need to make Andre totally come alive.  Let’s play with the setting two ways:

•  Andre is sitting on a couch between two other metro men watching “Bring It On” with a stack of Hayden Panettiere movies off to the side.  What do you picture about the man?  Can you see more than what was written?
• Andre is standing before two closed caskets, one full sized and one smaller.  A group of peewee cheerleaders sit in the third row staring at the smaller casket.  Do you get a sense of history that isn’t explained?  Did you assume the caskets contained his family?  Did you at least think about why the caskets were closed?  What gender was his child?  How close he was to his child?

Another example, if Christian, a main character, was described as a blubbery white mass nearly 100 pounds overweight, wearing sweatpants and a bandana.  What do you see?  Let’s see if we can add or take away from what you picture by adding the setting and maybe a touch more description.

• Christian is in a gym after most of the lights have been turned off, pleading with the owner to give him five more minutes on the stationary bike before going home.  What do you think of the main character now?  What is going on here?  Why type of person is he?
• Christian is at his fly infested house that smells of stale food.  Trophies for high school wrestling are in a display case behind him as he sits in a fabric worn recliner watching reruns of Ninja Warrior.  He has a beer in one and and the last slice of a large pizza in the other.  Can you picture what has happened in his life?  Do you see him as the same man as from the bike setting?

Last example, this is from a manuscript that I have been working on.  Picture a 16 year old Caucasian boy who is watching television with his dad – competing with him on some game show answers.  What do you think of boy? the family?  How does your viewpoint change when I say that it is 10am on a school day?  Or that they are in a rundown trailer?  What if I were to add that an older brother and wife were in the next room having loud sex?  Do you think less of the father?  Do you wonder about the family dynamics?  Do you think “white trash!”?  Do you automatically make assumptions about the family and their history that I didn’t mention?

Whether you are introducing a drunken woman, a sad father, an overweight has-been, or 16 year old slacker, the context in which you introduce them in will give the reader so much more than what you actually write.

Setting is important when introducing characters, especially secondary characters.  It gives the reader more than what you say and keeps you, the writer, from having to fill in some blanks.  If you introduce twenty characters at once in a party, then you have denied yourself and your reader the power of the first impression.

Here is a writing challenge, think of all the places you could put five naked teenagers – three boys and two girls.  I’ll start with the first one, huddled together in what was supposed to be a shower in Auschwitz.