Posts Tagged Characters

Lately, there has been a lot of discussion in my circle about speech.  Not just word choice, accents, or colloquial, but speech as a whole.

• This is too robotic
• No one talks like this
• He’s over-the-top cheesy
• I don’t like this accent
• I can’t see this word used here
• This phrase takes me out of the setting
• Where are the accents?
• It’s hard to write accents and it’s hard to read them
• A few colloquial words help a story
• Who says this?
• These new/strange words take me out of a story

Without dragging you through all the conversations and arguments I have had, and without pulling you (kicking and screaming) through my thought process (scary – don’t want to go there), I will give you my conclusions about speech use, and I open my comment section for opinions and (civilized) debate. 

Word choices, accents, colloquial words, pacing, contractions, and slang all give characters, and the narrator, a voice (yes, voice – I can’t think of a better term).  A properly chosen voice can put a character into a specific time and place while a poorly chosen voice can ruin a moment or a story.

Everyone writes with a specific voice, even if they don’t think they do:

• contraction usage (“We’re not going in there” is different than “We aren’t going in there”)
• spelling (“dialog” compared to “dialogue”)
• modified words (“I don’t want to go to…” as “I don’t wanna go to…” or “I don’t want ta’ go to…” or “I ain’t goin’ to…”)
• word choice (“One meter” versus “One yard” versus “One and a half cubits” versus “A walking stride”)
• slang (“Wicked” versus “The bomb” versus “Kickin’” versus “Cool” versus “Awesome” versus “Bomb Diggity”)
• expletives (won’t go there)

The list goes on.  To assume you don’t write in a voice, and therefore refuse to understand you are placing your characters in a specific time and place, is to deny your readers the full experience of the story being told.  You must change your characters voice if they are not from the same place or time as you or the realness of the character (and the story) goes away.

Now, if you are on board with me so far, I have to push the other way a little.  If you are intimately familiar with another voice than the one which is natural to you, then, by all means, write it out.  However, if you are not gifted that way, hold yourself back from going too far.  Using a voice you, and maybe your readers, are unfamiliar with is a matter of balance.  If you use too much slang and modify too many words, it may (will) do two things: be hard for the reader to read, and prove how much you don’t know.

When using alternate voices, you need to pick certain clues that can give the feel you want without distracting from the actual story.  For these clues, go to YouTube or Bing’s Video search, and find people who talk the way you want to have your characters talking.  Trying searching for someone explaining accents and slang in certain areas.  If possible, call the Chamber of Commerce or a University in the area of interest and just chat with someone.  Pay attention to what they are saying, how they are saying it, and which differences are important for giving the right feel. 

Once you have what you think you need, practice.  Try saying the lines aloud.  Try writing the lines and having friends and family read it.  Quiz people you are trying it on to see if it is too much or too little.  If you aren’t getting it right, go back to your sources and find different clues.  Experiment!

You don’t need to include everything, but giving a taste of an accent, a localized slang, or anything that puts the character (and the reader) into another time or place is well worth the effort of research and experimentation.  Putting the correct voice on a character is as important as the clothes they wear or the fears they hold – it is a part of who they are.

For more, read Guest Blogger: Ninja Cups and the Path to a Better World on P.D. Wright’s blog (by David Oliver) and Balance on C. Michael Fontes blog.

Other resources are:

“Using Slang and Accent When Writing Fictional Dialogue” by Todd Eastman

“How to Write Dialogue for Fictional Characters With a British Accent” bye Valerie David

“Do You Have an Accent?” on Readable Blog

Since I joined the Chris’ small group, I have started to hone my craft at a different level, much the same way my writing improved at FSFW.  Between learning new rules, researching writing, spending more time critiquing, and thinking more while writing and editing my own work, I have seen drastic improvements in the work I am producing.  This wouldn’t be possible without the help of Chris, Paula, and Julie, who have been helpful and patient. 

I have started to notice trends in my work, and theirs as well, which are simple fixes.  Sometimes, when I point out a troubling trend in their work, they will turn around and show that same problem in mine – which is both irritating and funny.  These are simple problems with easy fixes.  I hope you can learn from our mistakes and improve your writing.

• Telling is not the most basic of problems because there are various viewpoints on what telling is.  Some people view telling as ‘what you tell’ while others view it as ‘how you tell it’ – there are disagreements within those camps.  I have already posted on this topic, so I won’t address it again.  In the end, both versions need to be addressed to make the piece well rounded.
• Teaching and summarizing – easy traps to fall into when writing science fiction and fantasy.  Some things need to be explained, but in a way that doesn’t feel like a textbook.  Some spans of time need to be consolidated into a few paragraphs without making the reader feel like they were shorted.  These are hard things to balance, too much versus too little, bringing the reader along or leaving them behind.
• “That” is a horrible junk word.  More and more, I find myself hating THAT word.  It has its good points, places where it has to be.  However, many times it is used where it just doesn’t belong.
  • Good: “Look at that guy.”  In context, this points out a specific person.
  • Bad: “I can’t believe I let that scare me.”  That guy, that action, that day?  Even in context, this can be a little confusing.
  • Worse: “Some people think that human cloning will become a reality in the next 20 years.”  ‘That’ is a pointless word which can be removed and the sentence will flow with more ease.  This usage of the word ‘that’ makes up the majority of instances in my group (including myself).
• ‘-ly’ adverbs are another form of junk words.  I don’t think all ‘-ly’ adverbs should be removed, and I don’t have any problems with other forms of adverbs, but the overuse of ‘-ly’ adverbs leads to weak verbs, summarizing, telling, and alliteration issues.  A few ‘-ly’ adverbs are evil in writing because they defeat the purpose they were written for: suddenly, quickly, immediately, instantly, and abruptly.  There are more, but those are the ones I can think of right now.  They are meant to speed up the action, but they slow the flow.  “He immediately shot the villain” takes more time than “He shot the villain.”
• Repeated words and poor sentence structure seem to go hand-in-hand.  Short choppy sentences tend to bring the repetition of “I,” “he,” “she,” or “they.”  Long winded paragraphs often have the same verbs or nouns in various forms.  Trying to address one issue will sometimes help with the other.
• Motivations are not explained well enough, so the characters are unbelievable or an action is out-of-character.  I have a whole line of character posts, so I won’t elaborate here other than this: if you show your characters motivations and allow the reader to connect, anything is possible – short of that, anything is questionable.

These are common problems in my writing, my group’s writing, and possibly the writing community as a whole. They are my group’s current hot, push-button errors.

I would love to know what comes up in your groups, please share.

I knew a girl once who coward every time someone raised their hands.  I know a guy who does a fist pump whenever he takes a drag of a cigarette.  I remember a dog that barked at any man who wore glasses.  I know a guy who washes his hands any time he touches a doorknob.  I worked with a man who held his ribs as he laughed.  I met a woman who offered her hand to be kissed, even to other women.  I knew a girl who prayed over hamburger meat because cows were precious.  I know a woman who went through a phase where she always had someone check her rear-end after she used the restroom.  Ally McBeal had a character who always flushed a toilet by remote control before stepping into his stall.  I personally check behind the shower curtain before I use the bathroom.

Why did I tell you those things?  Because you can later identify each person from those mannerisms.

Before we get any further, let’s define a few terms.  A trait is a distinguishing feature such as a look, line of thought, or behavior.  A habit is an automatic, repeated, or regular pattern of behavior.  A mannerism is a pattern of behavior that is distinctive and peculiar to an individual.  In other words, a habitual trait is a mannerism.  Got it?

How is a mannerism helpful in writing?  It helps you manage your secondary characters.  Yes, yes – main characters have mannerisms as well, but they are often annoying and hard to keep consistent.  If you can do it, great!  You will have great depth in your main character.  However, that isn’t why I think mannerisms are important.

Do you remember the girl who prayed for precious cows?  Of course you do – I hope you do (it’s the whole point here so you better).  Let’s play with her mannerism for a moment.

Let’s say that you are writing a manuscript and you think it might become a series.  Let’s also say that you have a small character who you hope will come up from time to time, but not necessarily in every novel.  How can you hope that the reader will remember this girl?  By the name?  Not likely, there are plenty of repeated names in real life and the reader will not necessarily know if it is the same girl or not.

In the first novel you could introduce the girl as saying, “Aren’t they precious,” while looking at cows.  That will stand out, but it isn’t a mannerism.  Before the reader has a chance to forget her, somewhere in the next chapter or two, insert the mannerism, have her pray for the “precious cow meat that we are about to eat.”  That reinforced what you read earlier and set her up with a unique behavior.  Then, in book 3, 7, and 8, you can bring her back and just have her praying over the hamburger, “God, we thank you for the precious meat here before us.  Forgive us for taking the life…”  Each time you can make the prayer a little more mature, the girl is maturing, but the mannerism of praying for the precious cow will always remain.  Your reader will always know it is the same girl.  That’s all there is to it.

Remember, a mannerism is a habitual trait – it identifies your character in a way that a name alone cannot.

A writing challenge for you, create a list of mannerisms for all your current and former friends and coworkers.

Why do writers write? Because it isn’t there.   – Thomas Berger

I have scoured the internet (okay, I did Google and Bing searches looking at the top 20 hits) to find something about creating a sense of history based on a character’s initial description and setting.  I found nothing, and thus, I am writing.

My theory: if there is only physical character description without setting, the character’s history has to be explained.  However, with proper consideration of the setting for introducing a character, history will take care of itself.

For most people, first impressions are very strong.  Part of that impression is of the person themselves, but part of it is the setting.  We associate our stereotypes with settings.  Seeing an attractive, drunken woman at a bar might be enticing for some men; however, seeing an attractive, drunken woman in cuffs near the scene of a fatal accident gives a totally different impression.  Why?  It is because of our experiences, because of our prejudices.  We, the readers, add to what we read.  The setting gives us all we need to let our minds go wild, especially if it is a first impression of a lesser character.

Let’s play with an example: if a main character, Andre, is described as mulatto, well groomed, athletic build, and wearing a black suit, you can picture him without knowing anything about him.  Further, add that he is crying while holding pink pom-poms to his chest.  Now you may think he is strange, you may want to know more.  However, that is all the physical description you need to make Andre totally come alive.  Let’s play with the setting two ways:

•  Andre is sitting on a couch between two other metro men watching “Bring It On” with a stack of Hayden Panettiere movies off to the side.  What do you picture about the man?  Can you see more than what was written?
• Andre is standing before two closed caskets, one full sized and one smaller.  A group of peewee cheerleaders sit in the third row staring at the smaller casket.  Do you get a sense of history that isn’t explained?  Did you assume the caskets contained his family?  Did you at least think about why the caskets were closed?  What gender was his child?  How close he was to his child?

Another example, if Christian, a main character, was described as a blubbery white mass nearly 100 pounds overweight, wearing sweatpants and a bandana.  What do you see?  Let’s see if we can add or take away from what you picture by adding the setting and maybe a touch more description.

• Christian is in a gym after most of the lights have been turned off, pleading with the owner to give him five more minutes on the stationary bike before going home.  What do you think of the main character now?  What is going on here?  Why type of person is he?
• Christian is at his fly infested house that smells of stale food.  Trophies for high school wrestling are in a display case behind him as he sits in a fabric worn recliner watching reruns of Ninja Warrior.  He has a beer in one and and the last slice of a large pizza in the other.  Can you picture what has happened in his life?  Do you see him as the same man as from the bike setting?

Last example, this is from a manuscript that I have been working on.  Picture a 16 year old Caucasian boy who is watching television with his dad – competing with him on some game show answers.  What do you think of boy? the family?  How does your viewpoint change when I say that it is 10am on a school day?  Or that they are in a rundown trailer?  What if I were to add that an older brother and wife were in the next room having loud sex?  Do you think less of the father?  Do you wonder about the family dynamics?  Do you think “white trash!”?  Do you automatically make assumptions about the family and their history that I didn’t mention?

Whether you are introducing a drunken woman, a sad father, an overweight has-been, or 16 year old slacker, the context in which you introduce them in will give the reader so much more than what you actually write.

Setting is important when introducing characters, especially secondary characters.  It gives the reader more than what you say and keeps you, the writer, from having to fill in some blanks.  If you introduce twenty characters at once in a party, then you have denied yourself and your reader the power of the first impression.

Here is a writing challenge, think of all the places you could put five naked teenagers – three boys and two girls.  I’ll start with the first one, huddled together in what was supposed to be a shower in Auschwitz.